Don't End With Blood
by Silverado17
Summary: This is the sequel to 'The Beginning.' I would recommend reading that first, but you don't necessarily have to. This is the progressing relationship between Sam and Cas as well as their attempts to start a family. There will be a mix of happiness and sadness. Warnings inside. There's also some hurt/comfort, but there's only space for 2 categories. Sastiel. AU DISCONTINUED!
1. Engagement

_**AN: Here's my first**_ **full** _ **sastiel/sassy story! I'm excited!**_

 _ **Warnings: mpreg, possible mild language, slash, and rape of a minor in later chapters. (I know, spoilers, but I have to put them in here)  
**_

 _ **Disclaimer: If I owned it, you would be watching this instead of reading it.**_

 _ **I didn't really place this in any particular season, because I don't want to deal with some of the issues these boys have. Besides, this doesn't completely fit in with the series, and all things considered, part of this is technically set in the future of the show. I have made this pretty AU, so I made two lists for you guys:**_

 _ **Living characters: Bobby, Charlie, Keven, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Rufus, Balthazar, Gabriel, Pamela, Gordon Walker, Alastair, Meg, Garth, Jody, Chuck, Sam, Dean, Cas, and the Samulet (yes, I just list it as a character)**_

 _ **Dead characters: Lucifer, Michael, Raphael, Naomi, Zachariah, Anna, Uriel, Azazel, Ruby, John and Mary, Samuel Campbell, Adam, and Jess**_

 _ **I know there are a lot I didn't mention. If I didn't mention them, either they don't matter to the plot of this, or I didn't care enough to gloat over their death. Although, I did throw in some names in the 'living' list just to throw you off. This story is basically me putting to paper my perfect made-up version of my favorite show. Also, the apocalypse happened, but Sam has his soul now as well as his hell-memories. No Mark of Cain. No Metatron (as in, not ever), no purgatory, no trials… Sam and Dean are both fully human, and Cas has never been without his grace.**_

 _ **Title because this story is a lot about family and because of this quote from 3X16 (No Rest for the Wicked):**_

 _ **Dean: "This isn't your fight!"**_

 _ **Bobby: "To hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy!"**_

* * *

Rainy nights were always long for Sam because he found it extremely difficult to fall asleep with droplets of water tapping incessantly against the windowpanes. Tonight was no different as he lay in Cas's arms in the room they were sharing. Ever since they had started sleeping together in the non-literal sense of the word, they always got a motel room separate from Dean, whether they planned on _doing_ anything or not. Cas still didn't sleep, but he didn't leave every night like he used to. He would lay beside Sam and rest as he kept Sam safe. Even though Sam was bigger than Cas's vessel, Sam was the one who was wrapped in his boyfriend's arms most of the time.

"Sam," Cas said, "why have you not fallen asleep yet?"

"The rain's keeping me awake," Sam replied.

"Ah yes, you do have difficulties with that, don't you? Is there anything I can do?" Cas was always more than ready to offer assistance with any of Sam's needs.

"Not really. We can talk, though. I don't think sleep is going to come to me unless you knock me out, which I'd rather you didn't."

Cas smiled, although Sam couldn't see it. He always enjoyed talking with Sam. "Is there anything in particular you would like to talk about?" he asked.

"Well, there is one thing I've been meaning to bring up in the last few weeks." Cas didn't say anything, waiting for Sam to say what he wanted to discuss. "We've been… dating for over a year. I know I'm happy, and as far as I can tell, you are, too. Dean hasn't complained about it either. I was just wondering if you'd want to get married?"

"Sam, you couldn't have timed this more perfectly. I had just begun to consider asking you the same question. I love you so much, more than I thought I would ever be capable of, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I cannot think of anything I would like more than marrying you."

"So, do you want to do the mating ritual before or after we get married?"

"You would do that with me?" Cas asked. He was honored. It was perfectly natural for angels to do it with one another, but Cas would have understood if Sam hadn't wanted to do the ritual. Sam was a human and it was a foreign concept to him. Marriage might not have been something Cas had anticipated in his future, but as far as Cas could tell, there was no real physical, emotional, or mental change in someone during a marriage ceremony. In other words, Cas was doing nothing much out of the ordinary if he were to marry Sam, but for Sam to be mated to Castiel was a foreign concept.

"Well, yeah. Like you said, it will strengthen the bond we share. I know I'm looking forward to that feeling," Sam stated with a soft smile.

"So, does this mean we are… engaged?" Cas asked, having had to search for the right term.

"Yeah, it does," Sam said, feeling happier than he had thirty minutes before. Sam reveled in the moment until he realized something. "Oh great. I just thought of something," he said to Cas.

"Is there a problem?" Cas asked, somewhat concerned.

"Maybe," Sam said. "You see, it's sort of a human custom of sorts. The only way I know to explain this is to make up an example. Let's say there's a guy who wants to marry a girl. Before he proposes to the girl, he would ask her father's permission. If the father was unavailable he would go to the girl's mother, or uncle, or brother. The point is, I think it would be wise if we checked this out with Dean. I'm sure he won't have a problem with it, but he'll want to be asked first, and probably by you."

"Yes…" Cas said.

"What is it? You seem like you're thinking about something," Sam said.

"I am just not sure how much your brother trusts me when it comes to you."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, it's just, after we decided to become boyfriends, Dean gave me a very… serious threat regarding what would happen if I ever 'screwed with your heart'," Cas said, using air quotes, which Sam had noticed the angel seemed fond of now that he'd learned what they were.

"Of course he did," Sam muttered. Leave it do Dean… "Alright, well in that case, definitely ask him. I'm ninety percent sure he won't have a problem with this, but ask him about it, and pretend we didn't have this conversation. Don't let Dean think you asked me without asking him first. He might get a little mad, or something."

"Alright. I'll ask him the next chance I get," Cas said.

"Good. Let's talk about the mating ritual. I mean, how does that work exactly?"

"Well," Cas said, "part of it requires at least one person to speak in Enochian. I can do that part. I already have already memorized what must be said. While I am speaking in Enochian, we will be facing one another with a bowl between us. In that bowl will be dust from the lowest cave beneath Mt. Everest, three feathers from my wings, which must be pulled out by you—"

"Will that hurt you?" Sam interrupted.

"Only as much as if you were to pull out a few hairs from your head all at once. The pain will be small and brief. Also in the bowl will be three strands of your hair, pulled out by me. We'll need the blood of another human and another angel – to signify that someone from your species and from mine approves of what is being done. I believe Dean and Gabriel would be good candidates for this. When I have finished speaking the Enochian, we each drop a match into the bowl and once the contents have all been burned, the mating will be complete."

"That was a little simpler than I was expecting, but that's good," said Sam. "I'm tried and it's stopped raining, so I'm going to sleep now."

* * *

 _ **AN: There's chapter one! Thanks for reading. Reviews are my favorite. I need to know how I'm doing! And I've said in the past that I won't post anything until the entire work is completed, but it's taking me a while to write this one, so I decided to post a chapter even though I'm not even halfway done with this story yet. It may be a while before I post chapter two because I don't want to get ahead of myself. So, yeah, I guess that's all. Tell me what you think!  
**_


	2. Permission and Attempted Plans

**_AN: I just finished writing the whole story. Just so you'll get an idea, it's exactly ten chapters, unless I decide to throw one out._**

* * *

Sam offered to get lunch for everyone the next day. Dean thought it was strange, but didn't question it. He just tossed his brother the keys and told him to remember his extra onions. Sam found himself smiling as he climbed into the Impala. It seemed like whenever two of the three of them needed to have a private conversation, the third one would give them privacy by picking up food from somewhere.

"Dean," Cas said once Sam was gone, "I need to ask you something."

"Ok, shoot," Dean said.

"As you know, Sam and I have been… together for the last year, and, well, I was wondering what you would think about it if the two of us were to get married?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Are you asking my permission to marry Sam?"

"Yes," Cas answered. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, I just didn't expect it. Yeah, you can marry him. Same rule applies, though. Don't screw him up, alright?"

"Of course," Cas said.

* * *

That night, as Sam and Cas crawled under the covers, Cas said, "I spoke with Dean. He gave his permission."

"I figured he probably would. Did you happen to mention the mating ritual?"

"No," Cas said. "I thought that could be discussed later. Should I have mentioned it?"

"No," Sam said. "It doesn't really matter. I was just wondering. Speaking of which, should we get married first, or do the ritual first?"

Cas took a few moments to mull it over. If they did the ritual first, their wedding might be more intimate, but he was a firm believer of putting Sam's needs/desires/wants ahead of his own, and while he knew Sam was on board for the mating, the wedding was a human thing that Sam might have been waiting for and anticipating since childhood, much like Cas had been anticipating finding a mate since he was very young. Of course, putting Sam first didn't mean what he wanted had to happen first. It could still be just as important if it took place after the mating. After all, a wedding is just a ceremony. The only difference afterward is perhaps a change in lifestyle. Mating changes almost everything about a person – well, two people. Not to say marriage was not an amazing and sacred thing. It just has less of an impact than mating. So the wedding would not have any effect – positive or negative – on the mating, but the mating would have an effect – positive – on the wedding.

"Could we do the mating first? If you do not want to, we can do the wedding first. I just thought that maybe if we did the mating ritual first, our wedding ceremony might be more… intimate."

"That sounds good, Cas," Sam said, smiling. He was looking forward to this. "So, for the mating ritual, you and I have to be present, and then do Dean and Gabriel have to be there as well, or do they give us their blood beforehand?"

"They must be present," Cas said.

"Ok, so it'll just be the four of us for that. The wedding will be different, though. If we want to do it traditionally, we'll need to find a church and a preacher, and then we'll have to figure out who we want to be there. Do you want to do it in a church?" Sam asked.

"It would be nice, I suppose, but I never much pictured a wedding in my future, because I never imagined I would meet a human like you, who I would fall in love with. I don't really have any ideas what to do with the wedding, so you can do what you wish in arranging it. I will let you know if I do have a preference about something, but I do not believe there will be much in that category."

"Ok, well if we can I'd like to have it in some kind of a church. That's just how I always pictured—" Sam stopped. He had pictured himself getting married in a church, but to a girl. He'd never imagined himself marrying a guy. Sure, he'd known for a while he was attracted to guys, but he never expected anything good to come of it. The way people were, though, he was sure he'd have a hard time finding a church or a preacher to accommodate them. "Maybe we won't have it in a church after all," Sam thought. There was nothing in particular he'd liked about the idea of a church. It had mainly been a lack of creativity. He didn't want to just show up at a courthouse though.

"What are you thinking about?" Cas asked curiously.

"Well, it's just, I always imagined myself getting married in a church, but it was to a chick, not a guy. I mean, I like this alternative better, don't get me wrong, but like you said, I never expected to meet a guy I wanted to marry, much less be able to actually marry him if I did meet a guy I like that much. The point I'm trying to get to is that there's no real reason I want to get married in a church. I just never thought to consider other options. I think what I want to do is find a place that maybe means something to me. Somewhere special to get married…"

"I can understand that," Cas said. "What about Bobby's house? If I'm not mistaken, you spent much of your childhood there."

"That's actually a good idea," Sam said. When Bobby had found out about Sam and Cas getting together, his response had been, 'About time'. "Ok, so we're going to get married there. Now we need to decide who to get to officiate it."

"Who can do that?" Cas asked.

"Well, I'm not really sure. The person has to be some kind of official I think."

"Could Sheriff Jody do it?" Cas suggested.

"She might be able to. I'll call and ask," Sam said, reaching for his phone.

"I believe you might need to wait until morning to do that," Cas said.

"Right," Sam said awkwardly, relaxing back in the bed. "We should figure out who we want to invite. Dean will be there, of course. Bobby, too. I should probably invite Ellen and Jo. Then there's Garth. And we can't forget Ash if we invite Ellen and Jo. And of course there's Jody. I'll ask Bobby about if we should send Rufus an invite. There's also Pamela. Oh, and Charlie! How could I forget her? Chuck might want to be invited, too. Let's see, I guess I should say we'll invite Jody, too, whether she can officiate it or not. Is there anyone I'm leaving out? Do you want to invite any of your brothers?" Sam asked.

"Sam, take a deep breath and relax," Cas said. "It is close to midnight now. I believe you should sleep. We can discuss this tomorrow, perhaps with Dean present. He may want to have some say in this."

"Alright," Sam agreed, realizing then that he was kind of tired. They could make more plans for their big day later. It wasn't long before he was asleep.

* * *

 _ **AN: So, tell me what you thought. Click the little button and type a few words. It'll only take a second! The next chapter should come up soon. I know not much is going on yet. Don't worry though. Life is going to get hectic for the Winchester family before too long.**_


	3. The ritual

_**AN: Here it is! The third chapter! Yay!**_

* * *

Once Dean was awake, he went next door to the room Sam and Cas shared – as he did every morning. He was shocked to see that Sam was still asleep. Normally by the time Dean made it to their room, Sam would be wide awake. Dean had to force himself not to wonder why Sam was still asleep. It was one thing to be okay with his brother's current relationship, but another thing entirely to think about it in a detailed manner.

"Dean," Cas said, breaking the oldest Winchester out of his thoughts, "I believe I know what you are thinking, and you should know we stayed up talking last night. Sam was trying to make plans for our wedding… I eventually convinced him it was late and he needed sleep. Although, I did not expect him to sleep this long."

"Oh, I see," Dean said. "So this means he said yes when you asked him if he wanted to get married?"

"Yes," Cas said, remembering what Sam had told him about human customs.

"So, did you decide on anything?"

"Not really," Cas said. He considered telling Dean about the ritual then, but decided Sam should be mentally present when that discussion took place.

Sam groaned and began to stir. Cas couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Sam was precious when he woke up, if you wanted Castiel's completely unbiased opinion. "Was goin' on?" Sam mumbled.

"Nothing much," Dean said. "Except for you sleeping in, of course."

"Leave me alone," Sam grumbled, though he sat up as he said it.

"So, got a date in mind for the wedding?" Dean asked now that Sam was up.

"No. Maybe. Cas, what do you think about September 15?"

"I suppose that day would be nice. I believe we should try to make it so that all of our friends can go."

"Ugh…" Sam said. "Let's leave that planning for later. Right now I think maybe we should tell Dean about the ritual."

"The what, now?" Dean asked. He wasn't sure how much he liked the sound of that.

"The ritual. It's a mating thing. Angels do it. Basically, we do this and it strengthens the connection between me and Cas," Sam said, trying to explain it to his brother. "In other words, I'll be able to see his wings, and we'll both be able to sense each other's feelings, and we can telepathically communicate without mind-reading and stuff."

"What do you have to do?" Dean asked.

"It requires us to put dust from the lowest cave beneath Mt. Everest, as well as three of my feathers and three of Sam's hairs from his head, into a bowl with the blood of another angel and another human. We must burn the contents of the bowl while I chant in Enochian. Then the ritual will be complete."

"That doesn't sound too bad, I guess," Dean said. "Let me guess, you'll want my blood?"

"Yes," said Cas.

"When do you need it?"

"Well, it must be fresh, so we will put everything else into the bowl, and then you will cut yourself somewhere on your body and allow blood to drip into the bowl. Oh, yes. I almost forgot. A specific arrangement of sigils must be carved into a band on the outside of the bowl at the top."

"So, when do you want to do all this?" Dean asked.

"What if we did it tomorrow?" Sam suggested. "I mean, we aren't exactly in the middle of a hunt right now, and it's not like the wedding. I mean, there's only going to be four of us present, so there isn't any major planning to do, and we know we want to do it, so I just think that the sooner we do it, the better. Not to say I'm rushing it. I just think this will be a good thing for us so there's no reason to wait. And all we're really missing is a bowl , the dust, and Gabriel, unless you already have one of those with you, so why not do it tomorrow?"

"That is alright with me," Cas said. "And I do already have some of the dust – or at least, I know where I can easily get some. The bowl will take no longer than a few minutes to craft, and I can easily get in touch with Gabriel for this. It is true that he is a difficult person at times, but for this he will willingly come to me."

"Works for me," Dean said. "The question is, though, what do we do today? Like Sammy just said, we don't have a case, and there's not too much of a reason to go find one while we're making plans for tomorrow, so what's the plan for today?"

The plan turned out to consist of introducing Cas to some classic movies that happened to be in a marathon on TV. Dean insisted Cas needed to see at least half of them, and Sam wasn't going to try to argue, so they all sat down on the couch, with Sam in the middle, to watch. Sam was sleeping again before all was said and done, and Dean snapped a few pictures. Cas just relished in having Sam relaxed and so close to him.

That night, as Sam was going to bed, he noticed Cas wasn't getting ready to lay down. "Something wrong?" he asked.

"What? No, nothing is wrong," Cas said. "I believe I am going to contact Gabriel while you sleep, and then I will prepare the bowl and collect the necessary dust. Unless you would prefer me to stay with you…"

"No, you go," Sam said. "Just make sure you're in bed when I wake up in the morning."

"Of course," Cas said, before he left the room in search of Gabriel.

Cas had no trouble getting in touch with Gabriel, who, for whatever reason, was more than willing to assist in the union of Sam and Cas. Things couldn't be better, though, because according to Cas, since they were incorporating the blood of an archangel instead of just an ordinary everyday angel, the bond would be even stronger. Instead of being able to communicate and sense each other over a ten-mile radius, it was now a fifty-mile radius. Apparently, archangel blood packs quite the punch.

To be honest, Sam was unspeakably relieved that Dean didn't get skeptical about the whole thing. Sam would not have expected Dean to be extremely ok with the whole thing, but for whatever reason, Dean had no issues about the little brother he'd once thought to be straight getting emotionally tied (literally) to a male angel. Sam wasn't about to question it, though. No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth.

The ritual, surprisingly enough, could be performed at any time of day, in any location, so the Winchesters and Cas spent the day waiting for Gabriel to show up, which he did at around 4 in the afternoon. Everyone was a little annoyed, but not in the mood to pick a fight with an archangel who could throw them into an unknown dimension with a snap of his fingers (or without).

"Alright, let's get this show on the road," Gabriel said once he got his ass in the room. "I have mischief to cause."

"Happily," Cas said. He turned to Sam. "The first step is for both of us to take a handful of dust and drop it into the bowl." Cas pulled out the Zip-lock bag he'd stored in his trench coat and took out a handful of the contents, holding it as he held the bag out for Sam to do the same. They let the dust fall through their fingers simultaneously. Once both of their hands were emptied, Cas spoke again.

"The next step is for you to remove three feathers from my left wing and put them into the bowl." After speaking the words, Cas turned and took a few steps away from Sam before he made his wings visible to Sam, and in turn, Dean. Sam reached out gingerly and plucked three feathers from Cas's wing. He could see the angel tense slightly with each one, but if Cas was right, it was manageable pain. Sam dropped the three feathers into the bowl, quietly marveling at how soft they were.

"Now I must take three hairs from your head," Cas said, before doing so. Sam barely felt it, and wondered if maybe Cas had gotten the short end of the stick. He had no way of knowing that Cas lessened the pain the least but for Sam's benefit. After Sam's hair was added to the bowl, Cas looked at Gabriel. "It is your turn, brother," he said.

Gabriel walked to the bowl, holding an angel blade in his right hand. "Sure thing, bro," he said, although it wasn't quite with his usual flare. It was almost reverent. Gabriel held his left hand over the bowl before slicing down his palm. He held his grace back from healing him until a sufficient amount of blood had flowed out.

"Your turn, Dean," Cas said to the oldest Winchester.

Dean copied Gabriel's movement, although he held one of his pwn silver knives. He had recently realized that most of his knives were silver. After he bled into the bowl, Dean stepped back, wishing he had some grace to heal him. As if reading his thoughts, Cas took a moment to heal Dean, who gave him a smirk and a, "Thanks."

"Now for the matches," Cas said. Sam pulled out a match box and lit one match, handing it to Cas, before he lit another one and kept it himself. Cas nodded at Sam, and they dropped the matches. They landed at the same moment, side-by-side, and Sam wondered if it was luck or grace that caused it. As the contents burned, Cas said whatever it was that needed saying. The second Cas finished, so did the flames. The fire went out, leaving an empty bowl behind.

Sam waited. He wondered if everything took effect immediately or if it took some amount of time. Cas hadn't really specified. Sam looked at him, prepared to ask him a question. The moment Sam looked at the angel, he knew. He could see his wings. They were folded back now, in a way Sam had never seen them, but he could still see them. They were beautiful. Sam decided now was as good a time as any to try out the whole telepathic communication thing, so he focused on Cas and thought, _I can see your wings. They're beautiful. Can you hear me?_

Cas gave a soft smile, and Sam heard, almost as if Cas was speaking aloud to him, _Yes, I can hear you. It seems we were successful._

 _Was there a chance of failure?_

 _It has happened before, on rare occasions, but typically because the two attempting the ritual are blatantly incompatible._

 _Ok. I have a question. I know for a fact Dean can't hear us, but what about Gabriel?_

 _No, these conversations can be heard by only the two of us. The mating is sacred. If Gabriel tried to read your mind, even, he would only get static._

"Alright, why are you staring at each other?" Dean asked.

"We're talking," Sam said, having to remind himself to say it out loud.

"Well, look, unless it's some sort of secret or something, can you talk to each other? Like, out loud? I mean, it's gonna get awkward if the three of us are having a conversation and I'm only hearing a third of it."

"Right, of course," Sam said. He was still staring at Cas though. He couldn't get over those wings.

"Alright, well, it's been fun, but like I said, I have some mischief to make, so I'm gonna skedaddle. Don't die while I'm gone," Gabriel said before he was gone with a dramatic snap of his fingers.

Dean took a good long look at the other two occupants of the room and decided it might be good to make himself scarce. "Well, I'm going back to my room," he said. He was halfway out the door before he turned around and gave Sam and Cas both a stern look. "I don't want to hear anything," he said.

"You won't," Sam said. _You'll need to make sure you do that noise-cancellation thing._

 _Of course._

* * *

 _ **AN: I hope this met with everyone's approval. Or maybe I don't. I don't know. The next chapter is coming soon. And I think I've forgotten to mention this until now, but I made up the whole ritual thing. In case you couldn't tell :)  
**_


	4. First Fight

_**AN: This chapter is just something I wrote. It seems like it should be included. I don't know… It's not especially important to the overall plot, but here it is nonetheless. This is before the wedding. I actually wrote this chapter after I wrote the chapter that comes after this, but this seemed to fit better here.**_

* * *

When Sam woke up, the first thing he noticed was that Cas wasn't in direct contact with him. He reached his arm forward, towards Cas's side of the bed, too lazy to open his eyes yet. He kept expecting to feel the angel beside him, but all he felt were cold sheets. The strangeness of it was enough to make Sam open his eyes. He looked around the motel room, but Cas was nowhere to be found. "Cas?" he called out. Silence greeted him. _Maybe he's at Dean's,_ Sam thought to himself. _Cas,_ he sent to his angel, _where are you? Cas? Castiel, answer me!_ He didn't get an answer. He tried feeling for the angel, but he felt nothing for the first time since the mating. It was a strangely cold feeling.

Deciding he wasn't completely okay with not knowing where Cas was, Sam quickly checked for a note before he put on a shirt and some pants and walked over to Dean's room. It was 9:30 in the morning, so surely Dean would be awake. He knocked on the door and it was soon opened to reveal a freshly-showered Dean who still had wet hair. "Have you seen Cas?" Sam asked him

"No," Dean said, giving him a weird look. "I'm not the one who shares a room with him."

"Well, when I woke up he was gone."

"Maybe he went to the store or something."

"Dean, Cas doesn't go to the store. Not one that's more than 50 miles from here without telling me or leaving a note."

"What do you mean more than 50 miles from here?" Dean asked.

"I can't sense him, Dean," Sam said, feeling panic coming on.

"Whoa, hey, calm down," Dean said, sensing the rising panic in Sam.

"You want me to calm down? Dean, he's missing," Sam said.

"What makes you so sure?" Dean asked. He wasn't sure he was ready for something to happen to Cas. The guy was his best friend. Not to mention what it would do to Sammy.

"Because he didn't leave me a note telling me he left, and when we went to bed last night he said he would be there when I woke up, and because I can't feel him!" Sam was nearing his breaking point. Cas had to be okay. Except, he might not be, and that wasn't alright. Sam had to find him and make sure he was alright.

"Alright," Dean said. "Look, why don't you come inside," he said once he realized Sam hadn't even made it through the door. "Let's sit down and we'll figure this out, okay Sammy?"

"Yeah, okay," Sam said, forcing himself to calm down, just a little.

"Why don't I try calling him on the phone?" Dean suggested. Sam nodded. He hadn't thought of that. It wasn't as if he and Cas had had any reason to communicate through a cell phone in the past months. Dean dialed Cas's number and it rang several times before going to voicemail. Dean called again. He didn't give it up until he'd called him 5 times. "Okay, he's not answering," Dean said. "I guess I can always do it the old fashioned way." With that, Dean looked skyward and called out, "Cas, get your feathery ass down here! You got your fiancé here worried. Come let him know you're alive!" There was no answer and Sam was getting more and more worried. It was all over his face, too. "Why don't we take a look around your room and check for signs of any creatures?" Dean asked.

Sam immediately stood and walked out the door of Dean's motel room, not even waiting to make sure the other man was behind him. When Dean got into the other room, he found Sam finishing with checking the salt lines. Dean made a quick trip around the room to look for sulfur. Sam even pulled out the EMF meter. Nothing was out of place. "This isn't right," Sam said.

"You're right, it's not," Dean said. He decided at this point that if it turned out Cas was really okay, he wouldn't be for long. He had better be in trouble as worried as Sam was now.

That was when Sam felt it. _Cas?_

 _Sam, yes, it's me. I'm almost back. You seem upset…_ And then Cas was standing behind the two Winchesters. "What is wrong?" he asked.

"What's wrong?" Sam repeated. "You disappeared without a trace and you ask what's wrong? We were worried about you. I was worried about you. I thought something bad had happened to you."

"I'm fine, there is no need to worry," Cas said, although it didn't seem to be helping. There was no question that Sam was angry.

"Where were you?" Sam asked.

"I was called to a meeting. It took longer than I expected," Cas explained.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Well, I felt a summoning last night, so I answered it. It led me to a town in West Virginia. Hannah was there. She had some things she needed to discuss with me regarding Heaven. There was a minor problem, but we were able to resolve it," Cas said, hoping his explanation would dispel Sam's anger. It seemed to do the opposite.

"You left me in the middle of the night to go talk to Hannah about a problem that was small enough to solve in less than a day – which means, I'm sure, she could have solved it on her own or with the help of other angels – and you didn't even think to leave some way for me to know you were okay just in case I woke up while you were gone? And what about when I called you? When Dean called you? You can go to some angel when she calls, but when we call for you, thinking your life is in danger, you just ignore it? Cas, that's not okay. I was worried about you, and it turns out you were just out with some other angel. Is that what you want? Would you rather be with an angel? Because that might be just what you get. Don't follow me. I need some time alone. That goes for both of you." Without another word, Sam left the room. He forced himself to block out any signals from Cas, which was easier than it should have been. _Maybe that's what Castiel did when he was out with Hannah_ , Sam thought angrily.

Cas, meanwhile, was not blocking out what he was getting from Sam, and he immediately felt awful. Sure, he was still feeling the anger, but there was also the hurt. It was a hurt that went very deep, and Cas knew that somehow he had caused that, even if it was accidental. He looked at Dean to see him glaring his way, reminding Cas of what Dean had so clearly laid out for him before he began his relationship with Sam. Then Dean's expression seemed to calm down a little. "Look, Cas, I'm not saying Sam's right, but he's not wrong either. Apparently, he's got a jealous streak in him or something. I don't know. I do think he overreacted just a little, but he always was a drama queen, and if you ever leave in the middle of the night again and you don't know how long you're going to be gone, you should either wake Sam up and tell him or at least leave a note behind. He really cares for you, and you were basically missing this morning, and when an angel goes missing, it normally means a world of trouble. So don't ever disappear like that again."

"I understand," Cas said. "What did you mean when you said he had a jealous streak?"

"Well," Dean said, "what seemed to bother him a lot was the fact that you were with Hannah. She's an angel, and she's a she. Now, in the human world, if a man leaves his significant other in the middle of the night for an unknown amount of time without telling his significant other, it points to the man cheating on his significant other. I think that's where Sam's mind went. The point is, you need to give him some time. He'll come back soon enough, and then the two of you can talk it out. Until then, there's a Die Hard movie marathon on TV and you're watching it with me."

When Sam got back, he brought food for both him and Dean. He ignored Cas. He was still blocking out all signals from his mate. Cas still wasn't though, and he was still getting readings of hurt and anger, although the anger was calming down to be replaced with what seemed to be a small dosage of insecurity, which made Cas pretty sure of what Dean had said. Sam did say one thing to Cas before he walked out the door to eat in his own room – alone – and that was, "Castiel, you should know you're not spending the night in my room tonight. Find somewhere else to be. I might be able to face you in the morning, but until then I don't want to see you."

Cas did find somewhere else to be. He stayed in Dean's room. He insisted that he wanted to be close if something happened to Sam. Dean rolled his eyes, but didn't complain and went to sleep.

The next morning, Sam woke up feeling hopelessly lonely. All anger had vanished and all he wanted was to feel loved by his angel, but he felt the opposite at the moment. Maybe Cas had a better explanation of things. Or maybe if Sam just confessed how he was feeling to Cas, he would be able to better understand the situation. It wasn't like Cas always completely understood humans. Sam decided he had nothing to lose, so he opened up the channel between him and Cas once again, so that it was restored to the two-way street it once was. He was flooded with concern. And then he heard the words. _…hear this, but if you are listening to me, I'm sorry. I don't know exactly what's wrong, but I know I hurt you, and that is something that I have never wanted to do. If you are listening I want you to know that I still love you as much as I always have and if you wish to speak I am next door in Dean's room—_

 _I'm listening,_ Sam said. _You can come into our room now. I think we should talk. Face to face_. That was all it took for Cas to enter the room. Sam knew he was being fickle, but despite his feelings the night before, at the sight of Cas with his messy hair and that look that was in those blue eyes, all Sam wanted was to hug the other man. So he did. Cas was surprised, but he wrapped his arms around Sam. "Does this means we have made amends?" he asked.

"Almost," Sam said. "Before we declare amends made, though, I think I should apologize." Sam knew Cas was about to stop him, so he held up a hand. "I overreacted. I guess I was just so worried about you, when you turned out ok, I was mad at you for putting me through all that for nothing, and I guess I'm a little lacking in confidence when it comes to some things, and for a minute I was scared that maybe you had done more than talking with Hannah, that maybe you had decided you wanted an angel instead of a human. It was stupid, and I'm sorry. I still love you as much as I always have, too."

"I should apologize as well," Cas said. "Next time I will make sure to leave a note."

* * *

 _ **AN: And here's my note, except I'm not going anywhere. I just thought this worked, so I moved it from my head to the computer. Let me know what you thought. I personally think it could have gone better. It's not my best work, but here it is anyway. See you in the next chapter!**_

 _ **P.S. In response to a review I received on this story, I'm sorry to disappoint but there won't actually be any sex. It is alluded to, but I'm not particularly skilled in writing sex scenes, so I decided to leave out any actual sex.**_

 _ **P.P.S. Wish me luck on the physics test I**_ **should _be studying for._  
**


	5. Babies and Chick-Flick Moments

_**AN: Here's the next one. I'm sorry, but I skipped the wedding. If enough people ask, I might write it in, but I'm not the best at that type of thing, so I decided to fast-forward. This takes place about 3 months after the wedding (Cas is now a Winchester) and 9 months after the mating. And this is turning out to be harder to write than I anticipated, so bear with me. Charlie plays a small part in this chapter and will play a bigger part in the chapters to come. In my head, she's basically a hunter now – on her own most of the time. I wasn't planning on putting any hunting in here, but as you're about to see, it ended up happening anyway.**_

* * *

Sam and Cas were in their motel room, waiting for Dean to come back with lunch. They were doing something that had become almost routine. It started one day when Sam noticed just how often Cas had his wings folded in. When he commented on it, Cas had explained that just because humans couldn't see his wings didn't mean they weren't there – they would get in the way if he left them out all the time. Sam had asked if they ever got cramped or anything, and Cas had answered that it was nothing he couldn't handle. The end result was Sam trying to find time to massage Cas's wings at least once a week.

Cas now had his wings stretched out in the middle of the motel room, and Sam's hands were working through them. Sam was enjoying it, because he was getting some major happy signals from Cas, not to mention he liked the feeling of the feathers between his fingers. And of course Cas enjoyed it for obvious reasons. Normally, this was an activity they would do in silence, but Sam had something on his mind, and Cas could tell. "What is it?" he asked aloud. Despite their ability to communicate nonverbally, they typically spoke out loud when they could.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"You seem… thoughtful. I feel you have something important weighing on your mind."

Sam sighed. The thing about the bond thing was that it was really hard to keep his crap in nowadays. "Well, I've just been thinking about something you told me back when this whole thing started. If you don't want to, it's fine, but I was wondering what you would think about trying to have kids?"

Even though he couldn't see his face, Sam knew Cas was smiling. "I can think of nothing I would like more."

"Awesome," Sam said. "I was thinking about it because, you know, there's no major issues we've run into lately, and it's looking like if there was ever a time to settle down, it's now. I mean, I certainly don't want to raise our kid as a hunter. Whenever the kid is old enough, we can tell him or her about it so he or she can protect his or herself against anything, but I'm not going to do what my dad did."

"I understand, and I agree," Cas said. "I was wondering, though… should we tell Dean first? It seems like something he might like to know."

"I hadn't even thought of that," Sam said. "I think we probably should tell him."

"Should we do that when he gets back?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, I guess that's as good a time as any."

"Are you nervous?" Cas asked, although there was hardly a reason to as he already knew the answer.

"A little," Sam admitted. No sense lying to the angel. "I just don't know how he's going to react." The two remained in silence until Sam finished with Cas's wings. "Done," he said, petting his right hand down one of the wings one last time. As soon as those beautiful wings were folded again, Dean was walking in the door with bags of takeout.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked.

"Not really," Sam said.

"Good. Now let's eat."

Dean was maybe halfway through his meal when Sam began to bring up the topic he'd discussed with Cas. "Dean, there's something Cas and I need to talk to you about," Sam said.

"Ok," Dean said, turning most of his attention towards Sam.

"Before I tell you what it is, keep in mind what we've been doing lately. I mean, we've still been hunting and everything, but things have been pretty calm. I mean, no apocalypse, nobody's dying. It seems like now would be as good a time as any—"

"Sammy, would you spit it out already?" Dean said, getting impatient.

"Promise you won't freak out?"

"Yeah, sure," Dean said.

"Well, the fact that Cas and I are in a relationship together, and we have sex, there's a possibility of me getting pregnant. We've been being careful about it, so it wouldn't happen, but—"

"You're not pregnant now are you?" Dean asked, eyes big as dinner plates.

"No," Sam assured him. "Not yet, anyway. I mean, we're thinking about trying. We both want to have at least one kid if not more, and I think it would be nice. I just thought I should tell you now rather than waiting and letting you find out after I got pregnant. I'm not going to raise any child I have the way we were raised. No offense to Dad, but I don't want to do that. So if I do get pregnant, we're going to settle down, buy a house, put hunting to the side. We might go on the occasional nearby hunt, but we aren't raising our kids as hunters, although we do want to tell any kids we have about the supernatural once they're old enough just so they can defend themselves, but until then… Well I think you get the picture. But obviously this will affect you, so I thought I'd tell you now."

Dean looked at Sam. "I want to ask how this whole thing where you can get pregnant works, but I don't think I want that many details about what the two of you get up to when I'm not around. I guess I'm okay with this though, as long as you're both sure you want this. So, do you want to settle down now, or wait until you get pregnant before you buy a house?" Dean had to force himself to stay calm at the thought of his _brother_ getting pregnant.

"We hadn't gotten that far," Sam said. _What do you think?_ he asked Cas.

 _I think perhaps we should start looking for a house now, and then if we find the perfect one, we should buy it, and if not, we will have plenty of time to look until you do get pregnant. Besides, it's not as if you will become pregnant as soon as we have unprotected sex. It may take a year or more._

 _Sounds good_ Sam looked at Dean. "We decided to start looking now. If we find the right one, we'll go ahead and buy it, but if we don't we'll just be giving ourselves more of an advanced look."

"Okay. Do you want my help with the house thing or what?" Dean asked.

"We might could manage without you, but it wouldn't hurt if you helped," Sam said. Dean told himself he wasn't relieved at the answer. It didn't really matter that much if Sam still wanted his help with stuff, did it?

* * *

Sam and Dean were sitting in Dean's motel room later on cleaning their weapons. They were doing so in silence, which wasn't a completely unusual thing, but Sam noticed that something about Dean wasn't right. He was beginning to get worried when nothing changed by the time they were both done with all the weapons they had. Sam found himself wishing Cas was nearby, so maybe he could talk to him about it, but Cas was meeting with some angel again to help avert some crisis, although this time he had told Sam before he left. Sam found himself laughing at himself. He had helped Dean deal with problems long before Cas came around, and although it was like pulling teeth, Sam knew he could eventually get Dean to let Sam know what was going on. He wasn't expecting anything to happen at the beginning, but he drew a breath and asked, "What's up, man?"

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, though he didn't completely keep his voice neutral.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're acting like something's up. Talk to me, man."

"Nothing's up," Dean said.

"Then why haven't you said a word in over an hour?" Sam asked.

"You haven't exactly been a Chatty-Cathy either," Dean countered.

"So are you saying you were being quiet just because I wasn't starting a conversation?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah," Dean said.

"That's never stopped you from talking before. Now why don't you tell me what's really going on?" Sam pressed. He had to make Dean open up every now and then to make sure the guy didn't get stomach ulcers.

"Nothing's going on, Sam," Dean said. "I was just thinking." Sam recognized that Dean was close to telling him what was up, so he waited. "I was wondering… You and Cas are planning to settle down and everything, and you're going to start your own family and all. When that happens, and you get the house, are you going to want me hanging around or would you rather I just kept on doing what I'm doing now?" Dean somehow managed to keep the insecurity from showing in his voice, so hopefully Sam wouldn't catch on.

Sam was puzzled by Dean's question. To be honest, he would prefer Dean stay with him and Cas. He'd lived without his brother for long periods of time before, and it was always rough. Even though he'd gone to Stanford willingly, he had missed his brother the whole time, despite his immediate reaction when Dean _broke into_ his apartment. Then when Dean had gone to Hell it had been hell on Sam. He just found life to be easier to survive when he had his brother by his side or watching his back – whichever the case may be. But Dean had been a hunter since he was a kid, and Sam certainly couldn't ask Dean to quit hunting if he didn't want to. He certainly didn't want Dean to quit because he thought Sam wanted him to. As selfless as Dean tended to be when it came to his little brother, Sam was pretty sure that Dean would stay if Sam asked, whether he wanted to or not.

"You can do whatever you would rather do, Dean," Sam finally answered, clueless of Dean's real reason for asking. "I won't ask you to stay with me if you don't want to."

Rather than the options Sam was giving him, all Dean heard was Sam trying to tell him – or suggest to him – that he didn't want Dean to stick around. "Alright," he replied, just barely keeping his voice from shaking. He was Dean Winchester, and he was not about to cry because his brother had a husband now and didn't need Dean to babysit him anymore. Yeah, that was probably it, Dean thought. Sam just didn't want his big brother breathing down his neck anymore.

Sam wasn't sure if Dean hadn't decided yet what he was doing, or if he just didn't want to tell Sam yet. Odds were it was the latter after how long Dean had been brooding. Because as much as Dean would deny it, the man brooded sometimes.

Dean's phone began to ring then, drawing both Winchesters out of their heads. "Yeah?" he asked into the phone.

"Hey, it's Charlie. I called Sam first, but he didn't answer, so I figured I'd call you. Do you guys think you could help me out with something?"

"I don't see why not," Dean said. His brain had switched gears. His conversation with Sam was momentarily forgotten.

"Ok, well, I'm in Minnesota. I was investigating some deaths, and to be honest I didn't have a clue what was the cause of them, but now I'm about 75% sure it's a Wendigo, and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't hunt one of those down alone."

"You're certainly not wrong," Dean said. "We'll leave as soon as we can and we should be in Minnesota by tomorrow morning. Text me the address to the motel you're in and Sam can put the address in this GPS thing he has on his phone."

"Ok, sounds good. Tell Sam I said hi and to answer his phone next time," Charlie said.

"Will do," Dean said before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Sam asked.

"Charlie. She said she tried to call you, but you didn't answer."

"Oh, my bad," Sam said. "I think I might have left my phone in my room. I'll check in a minute. What was she calling about?"

"Well, apparently she's off hunting in Minnesota, and she just figured out she was after a Wendigo. Which means she needs our help."

"Alright. I'll head over to my room and pack my stuff. I'll probably text Cas's phone and let him know where we are so he'll see it once he gets back from wherever he is and he'll know where to go."

"Sounds good," Dean said as Sam was walking out the door.

As Sam packed his bag, he thought about how different things were now. They were the same in some aspects – the still hunted and stuff – but what was so obviously different was that he and Dean weren't sharing a room anymore. The extra motel bill wasn't a huge issue, it wasn't as if they earned their money honestly anyway. And if they were ever low on funds, they just rented one room instead of two. A week of hands-off wasn't going to kill Sam and Cas.

Sam found himself wondering if Dean ever got lonely now that Sam spent so much more of his time with Cas. It wasn't a huge difference, and Sam and Dean were still the ones who faked being federal officers together most of the time, but after a certain time, Sam and Cas would go to their own room for the night, and once they had done that Dean steered clear. It was normally only 8:30 when they separated, unless all three had planned to watch movies all night or some such thing.

That was when Sam realized what an idiot he'd been. Dean hadn't been asking if Sam would be cool with him continuing with his way of life. He'd been trying to make sure Sam was okay with him hanging around. As soon as Sam realized his mistake, he was walking over to Dean's room. He entered without knocking. "Dean, we need to talk," Sam said.

"What now?" Dean asked, unsure of where this was leading.

"About what we talked about earlier. Why did you ask?"

"I was just wondering," Dean said, even though he knew it wasn't an excuse that would hold up with his brother.

"Are you sure? I mean, were you asking to make sure I was cool with you hunting... or to see if it was okay if you stayed with me and Cas?"

Dean groaned. He wasn't going there with Sam. "It doesn't matter. Keep your nose out of my business."

"Yeah, it does matter," Sam said. "Look, I know I've been doing a lot of stuff with Cas, and we haven't been sharing motel rooms and stuff anymore like we used to, but nothing's changed. You're still my brother. Cas is my husband, and I care about him a lot more than I ever would have thought, but that's never going to change the way I think of you. Dean, I would honestly rather have you live in our house with us once we get it than have you running all over the country hunting by yourself. I just didn't want you to feel pressured to quit hunting. Dean, you may not know this, but the few times I've lived without you nearby, it was hard. Obviously I voluntarily left for Stanford, but I had been planning to come back until Dad told me not to come back if I left. And then when you went to Hell, we both know I went down the darkest road possible. I think it's pretty clear we both function better when we're together. So I would prefer you to live with us or at least hang around in town when we get a house, and I think Cas would feel the same way. So don't think for a second I want you gone."

"Well, if that wasn't a Lifetime movie moment, I don't know what is. That was beautiful Sammy," Dean said, because it wasn't like he could blatantly admit to the kid that he'd been right. It seemed like Sam knew what he really meant anyway.

"Whatever, jerk," Sam said.

"Bitch," Dean called out as Sam left to finish packing in his own room. For the first time in a while, Dean didn't feel sad that he wasn't in the same room with his brother anymore. Besides, who would want to share a small, cramped motel room with his little brother and said little brother's husband. _Not this guy. No sir._

* * *

 _ **AN: So, there it is. Am I the only one who misses the bitch/jerk thing? Surely not. Anyway, they're off to hunt some monsters. Or, a monster. I've never in the history of writing (even for my own benefit) written a hunt. That being said, I'm going to keep the intricate details of the upcoming hunt to a minimum. It just seemed to fit with the plot. The funny thing about writing, at least in my experience, is that the words you put to paper (or screen) never fully comply with your plans for the story. I hope the chick-flick moment was acceptable. Until next time!...  
**_


	6. Healing and Hurt

_**AN: I apologize for the somewhat crappy/jumpy writing at the beginning here. I really don't know what I'm doing when it comes to writing hunts (pathetic I know, I mean *cue sarcastic tone* it's not like I've been watching the show for years or anything like that) but this was the best I could do. And what happened in this chapter was not at all what I intended to make happen. And be careful, all ye who enter here. I do mean that.  
**_

* * *

Dean and Sam met Charlie in her motel room right before breakfast the next morning. They treated her to breakfast at a Waffle House. She looked like she could use a pick-me-up, so they didn't even talk business until they got back to the motel. From what Charlie told them, they were pretty sure it was a safe bet that this was a Wendigo and nothing else. Which meant flare guns and close calls with death.

As it turned out, the calls came closer than expected. Charlie turned out ok, because Dean and Sam made it their mission to ensure she didn't get hurt. Dean ended up throwing himself at the Wendigo in order to keep it away from Charlie. This meant he got seriously injured. Sam, in turn, quickly came to his brother's rescue and got hurt as well, but while the Wendigo was dealing with Sam, it stepped away from Dean long enough for Charlie to get a clear shot without risking hitting Sam or Dean, and she killed the fugly before it could seriously hurt Sam. So Charlie, luckily, remained uninjured.

The three had just returned to Charlie's room. Charlie had to help Sam carry Dean, who had vehemently refused a hospital visit. His organs weren't spilling out, he wasn't bleeding uncontrollably, and there wasn't a bullet lodged into any vital places in his body, which meant he was fine to receive in-home first-aid. The first matter to attend to was Dean, Sam decided. As far as Sam could tell, he himself had only a few injured ribs and possibly a very mild concussion. Dean had several scrapes and cuts as well as some gruesome claw marks that were all surely getting infected if Sam didn't clean them out immediately. Not to mention a probable head injury. And to go along with all of that Dean's left elbow didn't look right. Sam didn't even want to think about how bad that must hurt. At the moment it didn't seem to be bothering Dean, and Sam was pretty sure it would have to be numb for that to be the case. And of course Charlie was biding her time until she could give Dean a good talking to about not being so self-sacrificing and how she wasn't some damsel in distress, although she was grateful all the same. She had somehow managed to come out of her first Wendigo hunt without a scratch.

Sam had just started getting the supplies out to patch Dean up when he heard _Sam, I'm in the town you mentioned. Where are you exactly right now?_ Sam could have cried from relief. Cas was coming back. That meant Dean would be okay, because Cas could heal him a lot better than Sam could.

 _We're in the motel room. It's room 25 at the Bluebird Inn. Come quickly_. Cas did come quickly. No sooner had Sam told Cas the room than he was standing behind the man. "Cas, can you heal Dean?" Sam asked hopefully. Cas appraised Sam's appearance and knew immediately that Sam was injured, but Dean's injuries were much more serious.

"Of course," Cas said, turning to face Dean. He put two fingers to Dean's head, and the man began to glow. The glow faded and Cas removed his fingers. Dean was left completely healed without a single scar.

"Thanks," he said. "Now fix Sammy."

Cas did, and soon all the hunters were bereft of pain. "So, now what?" Dean asked the general group as a whole. "We got any plans or anything?"

"Not that I know of," Sam said. "Not any immediate plans anyway."

"Why don't we go out and celebrate?" Charlie suggested. "There's a bar a few miles down the road."

"I'm in," said Dean. They were running a little low on funds. A little pool hustling wouldn't hurt anything. Not to mention it would certainly help keep him from thinking too deeply about how close he may have come to death.

 _That sounds like fun. You wanna go?_ Sam asked Cas.

 _I do not see a reason not to_ , Cas answered.

"I'll go," Sam said. "Cas is coming too."

* * *

As it turned out, the bar wasn't the best idea in the world. Of course, it was smooth sailing at the beginning. Then the storm hit.

As per typical, all four friends sat at a table together. Dean and Charlie were both eyeing the bartender, who happened to be a very curvy brunette. Sam and Cas were, honestly, starting at each other. For whatever reason, they were both getting ready to head back to the room they intended to rent for themselves and get busy. Sam wondered briefly if maybe one of them had started it, and the other had gotten subtle signals of arousal from that, and it had just turned into a domino effect.

It wasn't long before Dean busied himself with hustling pool. Soon after that, Charlie left to get a good reading on the bartender to see if maybe Charlie was her type. That left Sam and Cas at the table alone. "So, this is nice," Sam said. "It's been a while since we all went out for drinks, you know?"

"Yes," Cas said.

"I missed you," Sam said softly.

"I missed you, as well," Cas agreed. "I wish I hadn't had to go, but there was no avoiding it."

"I understand," Sam said, because this time, he did. "I'm so glad you're back."

"So am I," Cas said.

The two of them enjoyed their conversation for a while before Sam announced he needed to use the facilities. Cas stayed behind at the table. Sam had just finished washing his hands in the restroom when another man came in. Sam nodded at him before moving to get out the door. He wasn't sure how he felt about the way the guy was looking at him. Apparently, he was right to be wary. Before he could reach the door handle, his right arm was being grabbed. It took him slightly by surprise as he was pushed up against a wall, the paper towel holder pushed painfully against his shoulder, which had hit the corner of it on the way to the wall.

"What's your name, handsome?" the guy leered.

"None of your business," Sam said. "Let go of me."

"No," he said. Without another word he started groping Sam. Unwilling to just stand there and let it happen, Sam tried to push the man's hand away with his left hand – the one that wasn't restrained by Mr. Creep's not-groping hand. All it earned him was his other hand being forced into the massive grip with the first. Sam was shocked by how strong the guy was. He was having a hard time getting fighting him . Or maybe he had just been panicking and hadn't thought everything through. It might have gotten him farther to just punch the guy. With that in mind, Sam kicked him in the knee. He may as well have done nothing because there was no reaction to it. Was the guy even human?

That was when his hand went to Sam's belt. When he got it unbuckled, panic really set it. Sam froze completely. This could not be happening to him. He had never really worried about it happening because he was a hunter and if he could take on bIg scary monsters, he could take on humans, right? Apparently not. Then Sam remembered Cas. How could he have forgotten? _Cas! I need your help. I'm in the men's room. Just fly in here or something. I need you now! Please!_

Cas immediately appeared in the room. Despite his possibly limited knowledge of human patterns, he knew what was happening – or about to happen – and he felt instantly angry. Who did this man think he was? He was the only one who could touch Sam like that. "Step away from him," Cas said in the fiercest voice he could muster – which was pretty fierce – and in a different situation Sam was sure he would have been turned on.

"Why should I? What are you going to do?" the creep challenged. Cas certainly did look small in stature, although it was hardly an indication of his real strength.

"Do you really want to know?" Cas challenged back.

"I think I do, because I think you're bluffing."

Angrily, Cas moved forward and pulled the large man away from his mate. Rather than killing him – that was much too easy of an end – Cas punched him, using a little less than all his strength. The man's jaw cracked. "I was not bluffing," he said. "You will do well to leave others alone in the future. If I see you again, you will come out of it with far greater wounds."

After he spoke the words, he asked Sam, "You and Dean are sharing a room?" When Sam nodded, Cas transported them both to the motel. He held onto Sam tightly. He knew without a doubt – of course he did – that Sam was terrified and shaken and petrified and any other word you might use. He held Sam close and waited as the fear gradually dissipated. "What can I do, Sam?" Cas asked, wanting to make things as okay as he could.

"You're doing it," Sam said. "Just hold me. I need to feel you next to me right now. Why don't we lay down?"

"Of course," Cas said, before he laid down, pulling Sam down next to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Cas asked, unsure if maybe Sam could talk himself into calmness.

Sam didn't say anything for a while. He recognized Cas's words as what they were – a statement that the angel would listen if he needed to get the past events off of his chest in order to feel better about what had happened. He didn't think he was strong enough yet. After a few moments, though, he felt it might help to talk.

"He was coming in when I was leaving. I didn't like the way he was looking at me, but I tried to ignore that. Then, he wouldn't let me leave. He grabbed my arm and threw me against the wall. My shoulder hit something. There will probably be a bruise in the morning. I told him to let go, and he just started touching me. I tried to pull his hand away, but then he had both of my hands pinned. I probably should have punched him, really, and when I realized it I tried to kick him, but it was like he didn't even feel it. Then he started unfastening my belt and I knew it was going to go way too far, so I was about to really panic when I remembered I could communicate with you, so I did, and you know the rest. I was just so freaking scared. I never thought there would be a guy I wouldn't be able to defend myself against. I guess I was wrong."

"Sam, I am so sorry this happened to you," Cas said. "I can't express how thankful I am that you were able to call for me before things went any farther than they already did. I'm glad you feel better now. Would you like me to heal your shoulder?"

"Nah, it's fine," Sam said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Sam assured him. It was then that his phone began to ring, making him flinch a little. He could already tell he'd be jumpy for days. "Hello?" he asked.

"Where did you get to?" Dean asked on the other end of the line. "I know we're pretty close to the motel, but not close enough to walk back."

"Cas got us back," Sam said.

"Why'd you leave in such a hurry? I mean, we've only been here for forty-five minutes, dude."

"Something happened and I didn't want to be there anymore," Sam said.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam said.

"Well, I'd rather see for myself. I think I'll grab Charlie and we'll head on over to the motel. We should be there in a few minutes. It might just be me, though. Looks like Charlie's hitting it off pretty well with that bartender," Dean said.

"Alright," Sam said. "See you when you get here."

Dean hung up the phone. He had noticed Sam's absence, and in turned Cas's. He'd checked every room in the joint and hadn't seen either one, prompting him to call his brother and make sure he hadn't been kidnapped or something. Because this was his life. Apparently, something had happened to Sam, and considering the type of place they were in, he didn't appreciate the thought of that. So it was time to leave. "Hey, Charlie, can I speak with you for a second?" he asked, gently tugging the girl away from the bar for a moment.

"Yeah, what's up?" Charlie asked.

"I noticed Sam was gone, so I called him. Apparently something happened and Cas had to get him back to the motel by Angel Express. Without telling me first. So unless you're leaving with her or you want to walk home, you better come with. I want to make sure Sammy's okay."

"Oh, no, I'm not leaving with her," Charlie said. "She's straight, unfortunately, although she has a sister who's not, and she gave me her number, so I might look into that if we stay in town long enough. I'm ready to leave, though. Especially if something might have happened to Sam."

When Dean and Charlie got to the motel room, Sam was sitting on the his bed, leaning against the headboard. Cas was beside him with an arm around his shoulders. Sam's head was on Cas's shoulder. Dean didn't want to say anything to Sam, because he wasn't sure Sam was in much of a position to talk at the moment, but he had to know what had happened. Before Dean could finally ask, though, Charlie beat him to it. "What happened?" she asked.

"Would you like to tell them or should I?" Cas asked Sam.

"I'll tell them," Sam said quietly. He looked at Dean and Charlie for a moment before he looked down again at his lap. "I went to the bathroom, and I was the only one in there, but when I was about to leave this other guy came in and he was kinda big. He wouldn't let me leave. Then he got really… touchy. I tried to make him stop, but I couldn't. When his hands went to my belt, I almost panicked, but then I called Cas and he punched the guy really hard and then took me back here."

Dean was furious. He literally saw red for a moment and had to keep himself from punching a wall. He was the farthest thing from calm and he needed to change that. Nothing good would come of him losing his cool in front of Sam right now. So Dean pushed down his anger and let his concern for his baby brother take over, although it was difficult. He was pretty sure he'd never been able to do that before, but he didn't have the time then to let himself get proud of it. "I'm so sorry, Sammy," Dean said. "Are you okay, now?"

"Yeah, I guess," Sam said.

"Sammy, look at me," Dean said. Sam did. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Sam said.

"Liar," Dean answered.

"It's just…" Sam looked around. There were two other people in the room and he was about to have a chick-flick moment with his brother – who initiated it. They were all close friends, though. Charlie, like Dean had said, was the sister he never knew he wanted. And hell, Cas could probably guess at what he was thinking right now based off of his emotional state. So Sam went for it. "I feel like I should have been able to defend myself," Sam said, breaking eye contact with Dean.

Dean took a deep breath. "It's not your fault, Sammy," he said. "None of this is. You have to know that. You tried to fight him off and you couldn't. Big deal. The important thing here isn't that you couldn't physically stop a guy who, by the sound of it, was both bigger and stronger than you, from doing something you didn't want. The important thing is that you called Cas and he stopped the son of a bitch."

"But I should have been strong enough," Sam said, forgetting the other people in the room.

"No." This time it was Cas who argued with Sam's self-deprecation. "That's not true, Sam. I fought with the man myself, and although I am an angel and therefore did not have much trouble with him, I could sense his strength. If I were to make an assumption, I would say that there are unlikely to be very many men who are stronger than this man was. If a different man would have done this tonight, you would have been stronger, but even Dean would have been unable to do anything against this man."

Sam knew Cas was telling the truth. He could always tell with Cas. He moved his eyes from his lap. He met eyes first with Cas, then with Dean, then with Charlie, and he suddenly just felt better. He had people who cared for him – family – and that would never change. Dean wasn't going away anytime soon. After all, he'd been the one to raise Sam. Cas, of course, wasn't going anywhere. They were husbands and mates all rolled into one package, and it was too strong of a bond to be broken. Charlie hadn't been around as long, but she would stay around as long. That's what mattered. Not some douche nozzle who picked on Sam. All Sam had to do was recognize that. "Thanks," he said to them. He might struggle with this night over the next week, but he knew he had a good support system to get him through it.

* * *

 _ **AN: Yeah, I never even had this chapter planned. It kind of just unfolded in from of me. Tell me what you thought!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**AN: This is kind of a mini-chapter. It's not even 1,000 words. I just thought it deserved its own little segment, and I like the way the last one ended. This just seemed like it should be posted instead of kept locked away inside my mind (which is probably not the most organized or relaxing place to be locked away in).**_

* * *

That night, Sam, Dean, Charlie, and Cas all watched a movie that was on TV. Sam was feeling better all the time, and by the time the end credits were rolling by, Sam had nearly forgotten what had happened to him. After the movie ended, everyone started putting things away. Sam threw away the popcorn bags while Dean took care of the beer bottles and Charlie picked up all the random popcorn pieces that had missed people's mouths for whatever mysterious reason. Cas turned the TV off, and Dean wondered to himself if Cas had just picked the easy job on purpose or if he was that clueless. He was too tired to mess with him about it or try to find out.

Charlie left as soon as there were no obvious pieces of food left to pick up. Dean looked around the room, and after a brief debate, he said, "Well, I guess I'm gonna go grab a room of my own."

"Wait," Sam said before Dean could even turn in the direction of the door. "Listen, uh… could you stay here tonight? In this room? With us?" Sam was still a little nervous about the night's previous events. Sure, he'd forgotten during the movie, but it didn't take him long to remember again. Obviously he knew that Cas was more than capable of protecting Sam, but growing up it had been Dean who had chased away the nightmares, Dean who had beat up any bullies who crossed a line Sam was too afraid to correct, and Dean who had always provided all the support Sam could ever ask for. That didn't mean Cas had never done those things for Sam, especially recently, but Dean had been doing it for longer. Moreover, Sam was feeling like a scared little kid in that moment, and he wanted his big brother close by as much as he wanted his husband close by. He felt safe with his husband, but safer with both his husband and his brother.

Dean studied his little brother. He could see Sam was still shaken up. Dean was too, really. Something unimaginable had nearly happened to him. It scared Dean a little. He knew it was a dangerous thought, but considered what might have happened if Cas hadn't been there or Sam hadn't been able to contact the angel. Sam had only been able to get Cas there because of that bond thing they had. So if they'd never known Cas, Sam wouldn't have been able to call anyone. Dean wouldn't have heard his brother calling out to him in the noisy bar. And supposing Dean had for some reason gone into the men's room and seen the guy touching his brother, he wouldn't have been able to stop him. Dean knew just as well as Sam that Cas hadn't been lying about the man's strength.

Dean understood why Sam wanted him close. Sam was scared. Even though he may or may not recognize that Dean may not have been able to protect Sam that night if it had come down to it, Dean was the one who protected Sam for most of his life. Besides, Dean was a little scared himself. He'd rather be with Sam if something tried to get to him in the night. "Yeah, I can just stay here," he said.

That night, Sam slept with Cas's arms around him. Dean slept in the other bed. Dean made sure he had a gun _and_ a knife under his pillow before he allowed sleep to win him over, while Cas remained aware all night. He didn't relax as he normally did. He kept a steady connection to make sure Sam didn't have any nightmares. Every time he felt one starting up – which was often – Cas would calm Sam down before it could escalate into something more.

* * *

 _ **AN: I know it was incredibly short, but it just seemed to fit here on its own. Next chapter soon.**_


	8. Pregnant!

_**AN: hey, so I'm being a lazy writer right now. Somewhere in this story, I forgot that Sam and Cas were going to have a conversation about the baby, but I don't want to put forth the effort of finding a place to insert that, so for your benefit, the baby would be part human, part angel. It would grow and age normally and die at an old age as humans do, unless it was killed before reaching old age. The only way for the baby to be killed would be if it were stabbed with an angel blade, caught on fire with holy fire, or decapitated. And yes, I'm making this crap up. Also, as the baby grew older, it would eventually sprout wings that only the parents would be able to see except by some dramatic thundery thing like what Cas did in the season four opener. There would also be other assorted, possible powers. These include telekinesis, mindreading, the ability to be invisible, the ability to teleport, the ability to kill things with the mind, and a few others. They won't know what their kid can do until full maturity – age 22.**_

* * *

 _A few months later…_

With Bobby and Dean's help, Sam and Cas managed to find a house in Sioux Falls, close to Bobby's house. It had two floors, a basement, and an attic. There were three bedrooms, all on the second floor. Also on the second floor were three bathrooms – one for each room. One room was going to be Dean's, because he had decided that he was going to try a simple, settled, legal-job life. The third room would belong to the child Sam and Cas had. Downstairs there was the typical kitchen, living room, and dining room, with one extra room that would slowly be turned into a library. The basement was a home theater that Dean said would be used very frequently.

Not three weeks after the Winchesters had moved into their new house, Sam noticed a slight change in his body. Without telling Cas or Dean, he went to the store and bought three different pregnancy tests, telling the cashier they were for his wife. He had to stop himself from using what seemed like a typical excuse and saying girlfriend – he had a wedding band on, after all. When he got home, he was relieved to see that Dean was out job searching and Cas had gone to make one more run to meet with Hannah. He said it was his farewell meeting. That made Sam even happier.

Just in case someone came home while he was busy and did so quietly enough that Sam wouldn't hear them, he locked himself in the downstairs bathroom. He tried each test, and each came back positive. Sam was ecstatic. He was going to have a kid after months of trying. Sure, it was going to get awkward to go out in public, but that would only be temporary. He was pregnant, and though he never thought he'd be in that situation, he was happy with it. He looked down at his stomach and gave it a gentle rub. He wasn't sure if the baby could hear him, but he said out loud, "I promise to do my best to take care of you, both while you remain where you are and when you come out into this big huge world."

Sam left the bathroom after throwing away the tests and considered his next move. He had to tell Cas before Dean, although he wasn't sure Cas wouldn't already have an idea of his mate being pregnant. Cas, of course, couldn't be reached by Sam at the moment, so that left waiting until Cas got home. So he had to do something while he waited. He could prepare for the job he would start Monday. Speaking of which, what was he going to do about that after he started to show? He couldn't very well go on a long vacation, could he? Certainly not long enough. Well, he could just cross that bridge when he got to it.

Sam eventually decided that getting ready for first days on the job several days in advance was overrated, so he sat down with his computer in his lap and started making a list of baby names. He had found about five really good ones when Dean came through the garage door. "I'm home," he called out. Sam quickly closed down the word document he'd been typing and opened a page with a long list of books on it. There was no way the uncle was finding out before the father. "What's up?" Dean asked Sam after he walked into the living room and saw an almost guilty look on Sam's face.

"Nothing," Sam said.

"Weren't surfing porn were you? Because I'm not sure your hubby would appreciate that," Dean said.

"No, I most decidedly was not surfing porn," Sam said.

"So then what?" Dean asked, curious for a stupid reason, if you wanted Sam's opinion.

"You'll find out," Sam said. "I have to tell Cas first."

Dean studied his brother. He looked different – like he was happy about something, deep, deep down inside of him. And Dean had noticed that Sam had gained a little weight lately, although nothing more than a few pounds – so he'd thought. And there was something Sam was going to tell Dean but had to tell Cas first. Dean came to a conclusion. "You're pregnant," he said.

Sam said nothing, then nodded. "You weren't supposed to know, but I guess it's okay now. I was looking up baby names when you came in. Listen, though. Don't tell Cas about this. I want to be the one to tell him, okay?"

"Sure thing," Dean said.

Later that night, Sam told Cas after they got ready for bed that they were having a kid. Cas was ecstatic. Sam had a question, though. "How come you couldn't just sense that I was pregnant though?"

"Well, despite the fact that there are two lives, two souls, inside your vessel now, I as an angel am still unaware that you are pregnant. Angels cannot tell when their mates are pregnant until the first trimester has passed. That is not to say that you are not still carrying a life inside of you. The baby is just as human now as it will be once it is out of the womb. God just wanted things to be fair for all species, so angels cannot sense that a person is pregnant any sooner than humans can."

"Okay," Sam said in easy acceptance.

Life for the Winchesters didn't change much at first. Cas was more attentive, Dean was more protective, and Sam was starting to feel moody. They all managed to completely avoid hunting. For some strange reason, settling down was easier than any of the three ever would have expected.

Sam and Cas made up the nursery to be gender-neutral. The walls were a nice shade of green. The curtains were plain for now. There was a painting of a woods scene on one wall. The crib was made of a dark, sturdy wood. Dean had bought and assembled it one day while Cas took Sam out so he could be surprised by the bed. The floor was a soft carpet. They had already bought several toys in the form of a stuffed dog, colorful blocks, and a few other assortments. The changing table came in the mail, from ordering online, a few days after the crib was put up.

Life was going undeniably well. Bobby was proud of both his boys as well as Cas. All the Winchester were, to be honest, just caught up in some sort baby frenzy that was giving them an endorphin high. The only thing that had stopped Sam from going out and buying clothes, dragging his willing brother with him, was when Cas said they should wait to find out the sex of the baby.

Then, after Sam was roughly four months along and more than happy to be out of the throes of morning sickness, they found out the sex of the baby. Obviously, they couldn't go to a regular doctor, and there was some rule against Cas checking the baby over himself because in the case of angelic pregnancies, either the daddy would be too nervous and find everything wrong with the baby, or the daddy would go in denial and refuse to recognize warning signs if the baby were injured, sick, or otherwise unhealthy. That was why they had Gabriel come. Not only was he one of the few angels on the Winchesters' side, but he was also an archangel and that made examination a whole hell of a lot easier.

When Gabriel announced it was going to be a boy, Sam and Cas agreed the name would be Nathaniel Dean. Nathaniel because it meant 'gift' and Dean because, well, you should know. No one could have been happier.

Then, one week later, everything went to hell.


	9. Sorry!

Hey guys. So, I've been putting this off for as long as possible, but it's time I state things as they are. My computer crashed a while ago and I managed to lose every document on it. I've been trying to re-create what I wrote for this story, but while I have the concept in my head, it's just not flowing this time. I know it was the worst possible chapter to end on, but there's not anything else I can think of to do. Thank you all for trying to stick with me through this in spite of my lack of ability to finish. If I can ever think of a way to write an end to this, I will, but it's not likely. Also, for those of you who understand the mess I put myself in, thank you for understanding. For those of you who are angry with me for this, thank you for caring enough about the story to be angry that it's not getting the ending it deserves. Lastly, for those of you who simply don't care, thank you for your honesty. I will strive to be more consistent in the future and maybe you will hear from me soon.


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